ok..so I know I havn't posted in awhile, our computer crashed. We just got our data back but are still waiting on the computer so I have alot of catching up to do now that I have all my pictures back but I just needed to vent tonight. I'm sitting at home alone while Dan is at work and nothing better to do than fume over a little thing that happened tonight.
I don't need to go into detail about what it was or who but, a comment was made about Callen that really upset me. This person did something and when Callen didn't react the way they thought she should, they spoke really firmly to her and she got scared and ran away. Their spouse tried to intervene to tell them to back off but they just went off about how she needs to learn who's boss and that she thinks she can walk all over adults and etc. etc. Of course i'm sitting right there while they are basically saying that someone needed to teach her because her parents obviously weren't doing it right.
I didn't know what to say, this is a person that you just really can't argue with (believe me, i've tried). Usually I just let everything he says roll off my back and write it off to weird opinions that I just don't agree with. But this time, I just got really offended. It was implied that I'm not being a good mother. I'm not looking for a pep talk here, I just needed to vent a little and Dan isn't here.
With mothers day a few days ago i've really had some time to reflect on myself as a mother. I often find myself out of energy, with a short temper, and simply at a loss for things to do to keep Callen entertained. Often I do spend too much time on the computer or with the tv on and I know I have so much room to improve. I just wish that people could put theirselves in someone else's shoes before they criticize like that, they have beautiful children and I think they're doing a great job of parenting, but we definitely have different styles. You just can't compare one family to the next. No 2 children are the same, nor can you expect them to need the same parenting. This family hasn't known us too long and doesn't know anything that we've been through or what experiences our family has had, and they havn't even talked with us about why we do certain things the way they do, they havn't tried to understand our views, what makes them think they know what's best for my child??? Uggghhh
I'm hard enough on myself wondering what sort of things i'm doing wrong and how I might be messing Callen up. I just don't need someone else pointing things out like that, especially when there was nothing wrong with what Callen did, she's just used to how I do things and when he expected different she didn't know what to do or why she was getting in trouble.
I don't even know why I let this upset me so much, I know I could be better, but Im doing my best and I think Callen is turning out pretty good so far, she never stops amazing me. Everyday she is learning something new or listening a little better, she's my sweet little angel.
For all of you mom's out there, keep up the good work and thanks for being such a great example to me, and all the other mom's around you. (and thanks for letting me get that out, I feel much better now)
Grade 2, Year 2016-17
9 years ago
5 comments:
I totally think your feelings are legit! I am lucky that hasn't happened to me. But on the flip side, I know how easy it is to try to "parent" some of my friends kids the way I naturally react to a behavior I don't allow from Alyssa. It's a tough thing to balance. I think if it happens again, or if it continues to bother you, you should definitely say something. Hope you're feeling better soon! And p.s. You're doing a GREAT job raising Callen.
Crystal, I feel sad for you just reading about your frustrating experience. As if we moms don't already feel like parenting failures, then some person goes and points it out to us. Well, duh! I think we all know we stink at this mothering job, but we are also doing our best. So, even if you don't need a pep talk, I'm going to tell you that I think you're great. Hang in there. You're a great mom, no matter what anyone else says!:)
It's one thing to parent differently and maybe even go so far/too far and parent someone else's kids that way. BUT...to say that their parents aren't doing a good job, or doing it right, or basically aren't doing it they way that they would is out of line. I doubt the offending individual would agree that they were wrong to say such a thing, and perhaps might even be the type to not understand that everyone obviously parents the best that they know how, and for each individual child, so I would just try your best to forget about what was said. I know that's easier said than done and I hope that you know that you ARE a wonderful mother. You are also a wonderful person and wouldn't say something like that to someone else. I think the person could learn a lesson or two from you about that! ;) Take care!!
I'm so sorry you went through that. I know sometimes it's easy to think that a child is the way they are because of their parents, but no one ever knows the full story. I can't believe they criticized you and your daughter with you right there. That is so thoughtless and hurtful. I know it's not easy, but when I get that sort of treatment from the in-laws, I try my best to remember that my boys are MINE. And that means that I know best. Sure, I will make mistakes with them, but Heavenly Father has entrusted them to me. And he will guide ME on how to raise them. Keep your head up high. All you can do is your best. And I think you're an amazing mom!
I was thinking about this all morning and I've come to a conclusion. I really would like to know what your 1 1/2 year old child could possibly have been doing to deserve such treatment? Was she teaching the other kids to swear again? You know, she's really got to kick that bad habit.:) Seriously, that person in question needs to step back and look at the bigger picture before questioning your parenting style.
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