Alright, so Kathryn you're not the only person to ask me to tell them what Callen was doing and now that i've cooled down I can write about it. The thing that gets me is that it is such a silly thing to have caused such a big ordeal.
SO... I was at a friend's house chatting while Callen played. My friend's husband happened to be eating a banana. He asked callen if she wanted a bite, he broke about 1/3 of the banana off and held it towards her. Naturally, she tried to take it when he jerked it back and said "NO, you don't take it, you take a bite" quite firmly. She got scared ran to the other side of the room and looked at him almost ready to cry. He then told her she could have a "bite." He called his daughter over to demonstrate the proper way to bite the banana while he held it. He again asked if she wanted some, she of course didn't want anything to do with him, and he said "fine, it's my way or the highway, you don't get any." This is when his wife tried to stop him and explain that she's only 19 months and that he scared her. But he went off on a tangent telling her that Callen isn't disciplined and she doesn't listen to adults and she needs to learn who's boss. He said she thinks she can walk all over people and somebody needed to teach her respect etc. etc.
I was just too mad to say anything so I politely excused myself from their house and came home.
SO... there's the rest of my silly story. This individual has a very specific way that they discipline their children and I think he just can't see past his own ideas to realize that other ways of parenting are not wrong, they're just different. In his eyes if i'm not as strict with my child as he is....i'm wrong. It just really got to me because there was nothing wrong with what Callen did. I have trained her to hold her own banana when she eats one because I want her to become independent and I honestly don't want to sit there and feed her every bite when she could be doing it herself. She tried to do what she has been taught to do and got yelled at for it. I really should have defended her, I guess my own ego was just too bruised to do anything.
Anyway, it's over. And Kathryn, i really will have to work on that swearing thing.. I mean.. that just isn't going to work. haha
Thanks to all you wonderful mom's who have commented/emailed me. Your kind words are very appreciated. I learn so much from all of you, even if i don't get to see you anymore, I love getting your words of wisdom through blogging. Thank you!!
Grade 2, Year 2016-17
10 years ago
4 comments:
You know, maybe it's because I went to a Montessori school, but I have tried really hard to never do something for my child that they can do for themselves. There's no need - it makes them dependent and doesn't allow them to have confidence in themselves. So what if they drop "a banana" or make a mess out of "a banana"? It can be cleaned and it's not the end of the world, but my child will be thrilled that they ate their little banana and did it on their own. The next step is to show them how to clean up their little "banana" mess by themselves too ;) It's never to early for that, either!
Sorry this happened. You are better than I. I don't think I could have just excused myself and left ;)
Wow. I'm sorry, but that guy and I could never be friends. You had every right, and then some to be as upset as you were.
Then it's official---that man is crazy. I think every pediatrician in the world will tell you that a 19-month-old child *should* hold their own banana.:) I'm so sorry that happened to you. And thanks for sharing that story.:)
Crystal - you are really sliping in your old age - I can't believe the rude jurk doesn't have two broken knees and a bloody nose. Too bad, maybe he wouldn't be so rude next time. His kids will probably learn the rudeness rather than the submissive obedience he is striving for.
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